Welcome

Todd 0:00

This is the cluttered path, a compass for midlife. We're doing something different today. I've had a couple of people actually mention, including James, that maybe I should tell my story. That's what we're gonna do today. I'm just totally coming into this blind.

Todd’s Bio

James 0:25

I have no idea what you're gonna do to me, James. He's like, there's a document out there to put the script in. I'm like, no, I've got my own script, man. That's good. Yeah, I thought it would be good, especially as we're uh starting off 2026 here. We originally scheduled to record this late 2025 or early 2026. And uh due to various circumstances, that did not happen. Life happens. Life happens. Goodness. I was sick for a large part of January. My wife was in sick the entire month of January and on into February. So yeah, it was it's kind of rough, but we're uh mostly recovered. Uh, she and I both still have some coughs, but anyway, I'm I'm sure we'll maybe need to edit some of those out, but it's gonna be all good. Yeah. So I wanted to talk with Todd. Uh, I want our listeners to get to know Todd more. As we have recorded these over the past year, and Todd more recently talking to various guests, he has shared a bits and pieces uh of his story and um what kind of shapes him and why we're doing this. Our listeners need to know about you a little more to just have a point of reference. So the first question is is when you introduce yourself socially, how do you introduce yourself?

Todd 1:51

Yeah, it's just social situations. If I'm talking about myself, it's hey, I'm Todd. I'm from the mountains of North Carolina and grew up in Georgia. Really, I was born in North Carolina, moved around a bit. My parents were divorced when I was at a young age, and ended up in Georgia. That's where I grew up and uh joined the military from there. So spent about six years in the Marines. I was an infantry marine, and from there went to NC State, and that's where I met James actually, while I was at NC State, and after NC State, I graduated degree in electrical engineering, went into the IT industry, and I've been doing IT for pretty much my entire adult life after college.

Good & Bad Lessons from the Marine Corps

James 2:32

Appreciate that. That does lead into the next question. Is so uh over the various podcasts, you've shared bits and pieces of your military background. Thank you for your service in the United States Marine Corps. My pleasure. When you think back on that, can you share kind of one event? Is is there a single event that comes immediately to mind that kind of shaped you as the man you are today?

Todd 2:59

It's not just one event in the Marines. It was kind of a series of events. So basically, I joined the Marines because of the headmaster of my high school. He was an infantry marine during World War II. Actually, I fought in the Battle of Iwo Jima. And so that was a shaping influence on me. I knew I wanted to go to college, so I didn't have any money. And I realized, okay, cool. Well, let me join the military because I can go to college on GI Bill, something like that. So, but in the military, my starting out was not a good experience. So, boot camp, not a good experience at all. I had bad drill instructors in boot camp. And I mean, they were just bad leaders, they were just not good people. You know, you you should get treated partially in boot camp because they need to prepare you for just the mental toughness that you need for military service. But my drill instructors were just sadistic in nature. The the stuff that they did, it was just torturing people for their own pleasure. So just not a good situation. There was just no redeeming value to a lot of the stuff they did. And just an example, like Sundays after lunch, we'd head back to the squad bay, or I should say chow. I'm I'm forgetting that I'm a Marine. But Sunday after Chow, we didn't have anything on the training schedule. So we'd go back to the squad bay, and these guys would just make us drink water until we all threw up our lunches, and they made it a competition to see who could throw up the furthest and things like that. So my word. I mean, that was just kind of uh okay, uh, no redeeming value. They just didn't have anything to do, so they did stuff like that, and they did weird, like they would make us like strip down naked and like pile our underwear into a pile in the middle of the squad bay, and then give us you know 15 seconds to grab a pair of underwear and put them on. So it's just dumb stuff like that. So, you know, recruits were beaten, and I was the actually the platoon guide, so I was one of the leaders in the platoon. It was one particular instance though, happened, and uh there was a guy in in our platoon. We called him Chicken Hawk because he was this really, or I'm sorry, the drill instructors called him chicken hawk because he was just this really skinny kid. And uh, we all had shaved heads and his neck was real skinny and he had some flabby skin and stuff like that. So he looked a little bit like a chicken, just real skinny. And every few weeks we had to go in for a series commander interview to tell the series commander, hey, I have not been beaten, I've not been kicked, punched, cussed at, whatever. And he was a Christian, I'm a Christian too, but his convictions said he could not tell a lie. And so, you know, for me, I'm like, I'm going in there, yep, I've not been beaten or anything like that, knowing it's a lie. He couldn't tell a lie. So he went in and the series commander asked a question, said, Hey, have you been kicked, punched, whatever? And so he made an allegation against our drill instructors. So the drill instructors that he pulled on or tattled on, they got sent home. And then the other drill instructors they came in and converged on us and pretty much turned the whole platoon against him. And so, what happened with that situation? This was bad. They basically turned the platoon against him, and they came in and started yelling, oh yeah, he's an alligator. That's what they call you if you make allegations against a drill instructor. So they they turned the platoon against him, they literally had people beating him up. And I bring out that I was a platoon guide because it was me and four squad leaders because we had closer interactions with the drill instructors, and we knew that they were just not good people. Yeah, and so literally the whole platoon was turned on this kid, and they were beating him and ripped his clothes off of him. And me and the squad leaders, we just we did not participate. We stood there and we did not come offline, we just stood there at attention, just we broke position of attention, just looked at each other like, dude, this is wrong. And that was bad. And so this kid's mind snapped, as you can imagine. And it happens from time to time. And what happens with the journal instructors is you know, if someone has a mental breakdown, they got to get you out of the platoon. And so what they did was made a production of it. And what they do is they send you to the mental ward and get you to the psychologist or psychiatrist or whatever. And so that's what they did with this kid. And they what they do is they'll they'll say, Oh, okay, cool. And they just called the psychiatrist the wizard. So they said, Okay, you're going to see the wizard. Do you understand? And so this kid, he's crying, his mind is broken, and he's trying to pack his stuff, and they're and they're making the whole platoon sing that song from the movie Wizard of Oz. Uh, you know, we're off to see the wizard. It was bad, dude. And so that was kind of the biggest event in boot camp that just got me just going, you know what? This is bad. Bad leadership, horrible sadistic people. And when I graduated boot camp, I did not want to be a Marine. It was, it was pretty bad. So that was that was kind of one event that happened, but then later I was fortunate to actually get put in a unit where there was good leadership. So I was after school of infantry, I got orders up to DC, and I was exposed to some good leadership up there. Some bad, some good. And that was a turnaround point for me within the Marine Corps, because it was like, all right, cool. There are good people. I'm I'm seeing what good looks like. I've already seen what bad looks like. Now I'm seeing what good looks like. And my battalion commander, my first year up in DC was a guy named Peter Pace. And he was a colonel at the time, but he eventually went on to become Joint Chiefs of Staff and you know, four-star general and all of that. But just that guy, he was a loving, caring leader. But he was also a rifle platoon commander during Vietnam. And uh, he was just a good dude. He didn't yell and scream. There's not that typical, you know, hardness uh of a of a marine leader that you would think of, but he was a hard man and he loved us. And so that was a good example for me. And then I had other good examples along the way, but overall, there was that huge shaping influence of the military that kind of set the tone for my adult life.

First Leadership Role Exposed Character Flaws

James 9:28

So, you know, you mentioned so you you became a platoon leader, and I find that interesting. What led to that? What do you know why they would choose you as a leader?

Todd 9:39

Oh, in boot camp? Yes. It was it's basically I was one of the biggest guys, and so he just they don't know you. So basically, when you first get to boot camp, the Vidrill instructors are just kind of evaluating you and looking at people, and they got to pick squad leaders and they have to pick a guide. And so I I think it was because I was one of the tallest guys, and and bait they just came up to me one day and said, Hey, you're gonna be the guide, right? And in marine circles, because we joke around about guys telling people that they were the guide in boot camp because it's kind of like, oh yeah, okay, whatever. But yeah, the dude just walked up to me and was like, Yeah, you're gonna be my guide, okay? And I'm like, Yes, sir, you know, whatever. And uh it really turned into a situation where it exposed a lot of my character flaws. And so I'm thankful for it. But it was a bad time for me because I found out when you get picked as a leader, there's a tendency to go, oh, there's something special about me. And uh, oh yeah. And so I did that. And I was like, oh yeah, man, I'm so you'd kind of start patting yourself on the back internally and you start thinking highly of yourself. And then over time, I just started realizing that it was the journal instructors pointing it out. And that was one of the good things. Because in the in the military, anything that's different about you or you know, shortcomings, flaws, and things like that, they get called out. And so I was a Christian. I became a Christian when I was 12, didn't grow up in a Christian home, but uh met some folks at a church, became a Christian. And so I go into boot camp with a kind of a high opinion of myself. I I was also the Protestant lay reader in boot camp. And so what that meant was every night before you go to bed, you have to have a Protestant and a Catholic lay reader say a few words or something, uh, say a prayer or something like that for the recruits. Um, and so I was the Protestant lay reader. And so I just had this, this, this little booklet called the Our Daily Bread, and I would just read that. So, but what happened over time is people would come up to me at night and ask me for, you know, some sort of spiritual guidance or something. Hey, will you pray for me? Stuff like that. And uh that was that was good. But during the day, I would get into fights with people because I was getting punished for dudes messing up, and I would get, you know, I would I wouldn't like initiate fights, but I would come up to dudes and be like, Stop, man, come on. And so we'd get into fights, and the drill instructor saw that. And one of them pulled me aside one time and was like, Oh, you're a bigot. You want to preach at recruits at night, and then you want to beat them up during the daytime. And I was like, Oh gosh. So that was me. I don't I don't have this background of awesome military leader, any of that stuff. It was, you know, my character flaws were exposed as uh in boot camp. And it's been a lifelong journey of working on those, really. So nothing special about me. I disagree.

Breaking the Cycle of Generational Trauma

James 12:32

But I'm gonna move forward just a little bit because you you talk a lot about high school, and your high school teachers have come up a few times as you've you've talked with other guests and you've shared about some teachers that had a huge influence on you. So can you talk a little bit about high school, your experience, and and how that how that really shaped your trajectory?

Stationed in Washington DC and Camp Lejeune

Todd 12:58

Right. Yeah, I guess I should back up and talk about my family life growing up. So my parents, they grew up in them in the mountains of North Carolina. Their dads, both of them, were horrible, abusive alcoholics and just bad dudes, just very cruel individuals. And so coming out of that, my parents did not have a good example. And they didn't understand, they didn't know too much about raising kids. They were not bad people, they were good people in that they did not want the same thing for their kids. And so my dad, when he started having kids, was like, yeah, we're keeping our kids away from that bad influence with his brothers, my uncles. And so, what happens in those situations is you've got generational trauma that takes place. And that's exactly what happened with my parents. My mom, she hated her dad, and she got married at age 14 to her first husband just to escape, to get away from her abusive dad. And then my dad at age 15, he got into a fight with his dad, beat him up with a glass Coke bottle, and was like, I'm out. And so at age 15, he was on his own. So my mom at 14, my dad at 15, my mom got married. And by age 20, she had four kids with her first husband, and they ended up getting divorced. And then she met my dad and had three more kids, and I'm the second of that second batch of kids. And uh, but coming into that, right, my parents didn't really know how to sit down and just, you know, talk to a kid. And they were just working, they were just trying to survive because we were poor. We lived in trailer parks, and they loved us, but they had their problems because they were just dealing with, you know, their childhood trauma. They fought a lot. And so they worked a lot, they fought a lot, they ended up getting divorced, and that's what triggered us moving around a lot. Uh, but they eventually got back together, right? So, long and short of my background there is I loved going to school because the teachers paid attention to me and talked to me. And so, for my part, I was kind of looking for that uh relationship with an adult. And so I can see looking back now, because I'm a Christian, that God was providentially putting people in my path. So, my third grade teacher, Mrs. Morris, I would sit next to her at lunch. She would just talk to me. And to me, that was like, whoa. And uh, so that was Mrs. Morris. And then fifth grade, there was a guy named Jim Robinson. He was 24, just out of grad school. He's teaching, you know, fifth grade. And it was uh it was cool because that was an adult figure I looked to, especially a guy. He just had conversations with us, told us about his life and stuff like that. And then sixth grade, I had Mrs. Morris, and that's when I became a Christian. Not but not because of Mrs. Morris, but there was a church, an empty church building in our neighborhood where a pastor and some folks came and opened that building, and then they just started talking to people in the neighborhood. We saw that the church was open, me and my older brother, and we said, Hey, let's go to church there, you know. We were like, probably girls there, you know. So we went, and that's you know, I went to meet girls, but I found God instead. But there was a guy named Marvin Napier, he was the pastor there, and so he was sharing the gospel in his sermons. And the gospel is basically, you know what? Christ did live. So Jesus Christ is an actual person that lived on the earth, and he came to the earth for the purpose of reconciling mankind to God. And uh he did that, he sacrificed himself for that. And so I heard that gospel. And over a period of weeks, I was, I knew I needed to respond to that. I needed to, you know, step out into that light that God had shown. And so that's what I did. I eventually went forward and Pastor Napir uh led me through a prayer, and that's where I became a Christian. Now, I didn't I didn't learn too much about being a Christian until I became an adult. But uh, so there's Marvin Napier, and then I had football coaches and stuff that were somewhat of an influence, and um I also had other adults along the way, but I can see providentially that God was putting people there to steer me, steer my path. And then the culmination of that was in high school, Bill Cammon. And this is where Providence comes into play because I was playing football in the public school in the area there, and I got in trouble and I couldn't play football anymore. And so it was like my life had ended, or so I thought. I couldn't play football anymore, and so I thought my life was over. So I ended up leaving the public school, and my mom actually paid with her meager resources. She paid for me to go to this small Christian school. It was just a one-room schoolhouse with like 12 kids, and I was the oldest. And uh, that's where I met Bill Cameron. So, Bill Cammon, World War II veteran, infantry marine, fought in the Battle of Iwo Jima, and he became a Christian during the Battle of Iwo Jima, and he told me that story. And he was such a good influence on me because he he started teaching me. Okay, I would ask questions about the Bible, and he would show me, okay, well, this is how you go find that. He wouldn't just give me the answers, and so that was cool. Anyways, good influence there, and that influenced me to join the military. So yeah, thankful for that. So, how many times were you deployed as a Marine? Oh, I only did one deployment. I was in for six years. Uh, I did three years up in DC. In DC, I was a member of the silent drill team. They call it platoon now, but we we were called silent drill team at the time. So we traveled all over the place doing these little shows where we would do drill shows and stuff like that. We called it a battle color detachment. So we had a uh a band, the drum and bugle corps. We all traveled together, color guard. So we would go do these like halftime shows at football games, at NFL games and stuff like that. It was kind of a recruiting tool. So we did that for my first three years, but we did spend a lot of time out in the field training down in Quantico, Virginia for just infantry stuff. And then the last three years, I got married to my wife Hope at the end of that first tour of duty. And then we transferred down to Camp Lejeune together. And then I spent three years there, but I did one deployment, and this was all pre-9-11. So this was peacetime military, but I did one deployment over to the Mediterranean as part of a it's called a marine expeditionary unit. So, background on that. At any given time, we've got the United States has a marine expeditionary unit within three days of anywhere on the planet, essentially. And uh they're pre-positioned near hotspots in case they need to go in to maybe do an evacuation of an embassy or, you know, actually enter into a combat scenarios and stuff like that. But the only closest thing we did was we spent about 45 days off the coast of Bosnia and the Adriatic. So we were we were there during the Bosnian conflict and we were providing support in case a pilot got shot down. We were there to go recover pilots and stuff like that. But yeah, it was just one deployment, six months over the Mediterranean area. Okay, so you were on a ship a lot of that. Yes. Like a carrier? You mentioned pilots. Yeah, so we go. So there's a amphibious ready groups that go out. Um, the carriers weren't really anywhere near us, but we were all on amphibious ships. And one of those ships is the the one I was on was the USS Nassau. It's called a landing helicopter dock or something like that. LHD four was the name of it. And it does have a flight deck, and we had uh harrier jets, we had uh helicopters. We didn't have any like F-18s, so it's it's not an aircraft carrier like uh should launching F-18s and stuff like that. It's mostly helicopters and harrier jets. But what would happen is we had a group of ships that traveled in the vicinity, and then we what we would do is we would do amphibious landings in places like Spain and various places in the Mediterranean. So we would train while we were out there deployed, and so we would do an amphibious landing and we would spend a couple of weeks in whatever country we were in, just training and stuff like that. So yeah, that's kind of what we did.

James 21:12

So you you completed your military service, and then you decided you leverage the GI Bill to get your education. So why NC State and why engineering? Yeah, yeah.

Todd 21:26

So so back then we didn't really, we had the internet just a little bit, you know, a little the internet, the internet was just out. But what I did was I said, look, I know I want to go to college. What am I gonna major in? I'm still in the military. At the time, I lived in Wilmington, North Carolina, and just commuted an hour each way to work. And so I went to the local library and looked at the occupational outlook handbook to try to decide what I wanted to major in. And I like writing. And so I initially I was like, all right, well, I'm gonna major in English, but then I started looking. At English degrees and job prospects, and it was like, eh, not really going to be able to find a job with that. So my goal was to study something that I can attain some skills so I can get a job to support a family because I knew I wanted to have kids and stuff like that. And so my father-in-law, really good dude, his name is Heike Ellermetz. He was a colonel in the Air Force. He majored in electrical engineering. And so I was kind of looking at technical stuff. And then I looked at the prospects for electrical engineering and I said, I can do math. I don't really like it that much, but I can do math and I can write and all this stuff. And so that's kind of how I settled on a technical degree. And then in the military, you can talk to these various universities and they'll give you in-state tuition wherever you're from. And so I was talking to universities outside of North Carolina and whatnot. And then I also talked to NC State, call the admissions counselors. And because I had GI Bill and I was a veteran coming out, they allowed me to enter the school. Now, I was not accepted into any engineering programs because my math scores weren't all that good. But what I did was I entered this program called the first year program with NC State, where you can study any, you know, in any of the schools, you can study their curricula. And I just went straight into electrical engineering. So after the first year, my grades were there. So I was able to apply and I got accepted into electrical engineering. So that's how I got my start and transitioning from infantry marine, where digging holes and carrying stuff, over to, okay, now I'm doing technical stuff.

James 23:33

What did you find most interesting about the engineering or what you were what you studied at state, what was most interesting to you?

Todd 23:41

I did like the technical stuff. I didn't so much like the electrical engineering part, but I did like the math because I had good professors. So there's, you know, calculus one, two, three, there's differential equations and all this stuff. And my background was not very good in math, but in my summer before entering my freshman year, I took two uh pre-calculus classes just to get my mind ready. And what I really liked was the math part. I had really good professors who enjoyed what they were doing. That makes a huge difference. So they enjoyed teaching math, they enjoyed the interacting with students. And some of the electrical engineering professors, they weren't, their hearts weren't really into it. So you had to go out and get extra help somewhere else to learn that stuff. But the math folks, man, that uh that really helped. And for people that say, oh, I'm never going to use this math. And that's true, I never used calculus after I got out of uh college. But uh, but what math is for you, especially the higher level math, it's like exercise for your brain. And it rewires how your mind works the more you do it. And so it was, it would, it really changed the way my mind thinks and the way my mind operates because of that work. So that was kind of the surprising thing for me. And then coming out of out of university, entering the workforce, I literally took those lessons and that that way of thinking into the workforce. And so it kind of shaped how I approached like technical problems and stuff. So that's the math that really was helpful, even though you never use it after you leave college. It was good.

James 25:20

Yeah. Quick aside, who did you have for differential equations at NC Speed?

Todd 25:25

Dude, I can't remember. One of them was this British guy. He was so funny, man. We were doing spring motion, and and he was like, you know, in his accent, he he would be like, okay. And spring motion is basically you're make doing calculations where you pull a spring down and let it go. And then he's like, okay, this time we're going to not just let it go, but we're going to give it a ruddy good whack. And uh and then when he saw that we were confused and we're in the south, and you know, most of us had southern accents, he would kind of mimic a southern accent. He would say, Do y'all understand me? So yeah, I can't remember the guy's name, but he was so funny, man. Good dude. Excuse. Do you remember a Dr. Garut? I remember the name, but uh, I mean it sounds familiar, but I can't place it though.

James 26:11

Just curious. And curious aside. So obviously, you you know graduated and then went on to do work. But you've had a several technical jobs, a few different companies did very well, as I understand it.

Todd 26:28

Why a podcast? Oh, why a podcast? Well, we're skipping something now. I want to bring this up because this is how James and I met. So in one of my circuits classes at NC State, my lab TA or technical advisor, this dude, he was a former Navy SEAL team commander. So he was an officer in a SEAL team. He ran a platoon. He left active duty and came to NC State to get his master's degree. And he's a lab TA for all these kids coming out of high school. And then there's me after six years in the Marines. His name is Bill. I won't say his last name, but Bill, just he was hilarious because he he acted just like he was in the military, cussing at the kids and stuff like this. And he would start, he would kick off the circuits lab and he would say, All right, listen up. And he'd have a dip of Copenhagen in, and you know, and he would be like, All right, and dropping F bombs and all this stuff, just teaching us how what we need to do in the lab. Anyways, the kids were just like, oh my goodness, because they weren't used to it. And I was like, I felt like I was at home. And it was like, oh yeah, this is what I need. I need someone to kick me in the butt when I'm messing up. So, but I was talking to Bill and I was like, you know what? My linear systems professor, he's talking about networking and circuits and uh, you know, this communications and IT. And so I was telling Bill that, and I was like, I think I want to go into that type of work. And Bill goes, you know what? You need to go to Centennial Networking Labs and go talk to those dudes and see if they'll let you work for them. And that's when I met you and John over at Centennial Networking Labs. And that was another providential thing for me because you know, led to lifelong friendship with you. And uh, you guys also mentored me, you and John, because it was like I didn't know anything about anything when it came to networking. And I just walked in and showed up in your office, and you two were sitting there, like, uh, okay. All right, well, we'll let this guy work here, but you guys had to teach me everything. And it was that was cool, man. You guys didn't have to do that. So uh anyway, so that's how I met James. And now the question was about the jobs that I've had. Is that what was the question?

Why Start a Podcast?

James 28:39

Well, the question says you had a lot of technical jobs, but why a podcast?

Todd 28:45

Oh, podcast, yeah. So uh, you know, been in the industry a couple of decades here. And my job in the tech industry, there's a lot of presentations and speaking, and I spent a lot of time in Zoom meetings doing presentations. And so I started thinking about okay, what what happens after corporate life? What am I gonna do? And uh started just looking at my skills and some things that I generally have some abilities at and thinking, well, what do I want to do? And over time it was just ah, you know what? I think I may want to do a podcast because I listen to a lot of podcasts. I enjoy engaging in conversations, talk about interesting topics. And so over time, I was kicking around this idea, you know, maybe do a podcast. And then, James, you and I met for lunch one time and I shared the idea, and you were having similar thoughts about possibly doing something technical with content development. And you said, Hey, you want to do this together? And I said, sure. So that was kind of the catalyst where you and I started this, and it was like, ah, okay, yeah. So that's kind of the why behind a podcast. And I'm, you know, we've been doing this a couple of years now, and uh, we're working towards building up an audience and getting this started, hoping that someday uh after corporate America, you know, this could be a full-time gig for both of us. But uh yeah, that's kind of the why behind a podcast. And uh you've been helpful in that along the way, man. So appreciate that.

Interesting Guests on the Podcast

James 30:17

I've enjoyed it. One of the reasons we're talking to Todd here is because he's one of the major forces behind the the direction of the podcast and the content. And while you haven't seen much of my face recently, I I am still doing what I love to do, which is doing the audio work and editing uh the audio stuff behind the scenes. And um, I have still thoroughly enjoy that. And um that's cool, man. But Todd does the writing, creates all the interview questions, does all the background research, and uh does a just a phenomenal job engaging the the guests and uh drawing the best out of them and um and sharing of yourself as well. So I appreciate that, man. That's that's kind of you. I I can see why the the um you are the reason the podcast is growing very much so that's cool, man. I appreciate that. I could tell. So as you think about the the last year of the podcast, what would you say personally things that sort of sort of stuck with you, affected you in a way?

Todd 31:28

It's the guests. So uh we in the last year we started having guests on the show. Before that, it was just the two of us, you know, talking about topics of interest. That was good, that was fun. But then we started bringing in guests, so people that uh like experts in there are interesting stories and stuff like that. So talking to this guy, Ray Martin, uh, he had an interesting life. He's from the UK, he was a CEO, his business, his life fell apart, he got divorced, and then he ended up living 14 years abroad, living out of a backpack. And uh that was just an interesting conversation. And then talking to this lady, Cheryl Drury, about uh her reading of the classics. And so, what's been good for me is just uh just interacting with these interesting folks, and it's given me a different perspective on things, and so it's been an intellectual journey for me, just and it's just kind of a development thing as well. So it's it's pulling my mind up out of the weeds of everyday life and then just interacting with people that have totally different perspectives. So adding guests to the show or br starting to bring in guests has been very good for me personally, and then I also think it's added a lot of interesting stuff for the podcast.

James 32:45

So it's it has been very interesting getting to hear from the guests and their different their life stories, you know, it's learning about others, but also learning about some of life through other folks' stories. Everybody, we all have our own stories, yeah. And and gaining learning to look at things through different viewpoints, yeah. And um, I I found Cheryl's Cheryl Drew's very interesting. Um she's one of the few podcasts that I went to and subscribed to after after you did the interview.

Todd 33:18

That's cool. Yeah, I mean, just thinking about some of the guests, like Steve McCready, a psychotherapist from California, and that was interesting for me, just just talking about those topics. Uh, I got to interact with a guy named Chris Wilkins. So he was a platoon commander during the Battle of Fallujah, met him, friend of a friend type thing. Uh, that was awesome. And then talking to John Brink from Canada, he's a CEO, he was an immigrant during World War II, and that was just an interesting story hearing about his life. And then uh also, who who else? Uh Todd Coles. He's a friend of mine. I've known him since 2014, I think. But I didn't know his story. So we've worked together and all this stuff as colleagues and coworkers, but then having a conversation with him, you find out his background. He's dealing with uh, you know, he grew up with some issues and hearing his life story, man, that was fun, dude. It was that was deep. And so just connecting with him, and you know, that ended up being like almost an hour and a half episode. But uh, that was cool, man. So yeah, you you now you're triggering things in my head that I'm just like, oh yeah, that's cool. And then the most recent episode was Rand Timmerman, guy. He's a Vietnam veteran, just a good dude. But uh, you know, he's dealing with his struggles. He was an alcoholic. He says he's recovered now, and he's you know, since for the last 12 years, he hasn't drank, and just his journey of faith and dealing with all of those trials and struggles and PTSD and everything. That was that was a soul-enriching discussion talking to Rand. So for me, that was good. So yeah. Sorry, I interrupted you there, man. You were talking about Cheryl Drury.

James 34:59

Her talking about literature and books and and and learning stuff. Because I go through stages where I will I'll read, uh, I'll get into reading for a while, and then for whatever reason, it I sort of taper off. And then, you know, the the the books sit on the shelf, the Kindle sits beside the bed, and yeah, then I'll pick it up again and start start reading something. And that would just as a reminder, it's like I need I enjoy reading, I need to be reading more.

Todd 35:27

Right. And and I said it to Cheryl, and I'll say it here again. When I was in the Marines, they encouraged reading. And they had like a there was a commandant's reading list. Now it's military-specific, and they want you to develop in that area, but a lot of the books, you're reading things where you are hearing from the mind of someone that's gone long before you. And uh the one book in particular that I read when I was deployed was it's called About Face, written by a former army colonel named David Hackworth. So this guy fought in Vietnam. He also fought in Korea. He was a battalion commander. He started out enlisted, lied about his age, joined the army real young, ended up being a battalion commander in Vietnam. And then his leadership lessons in about face, those were hugely influential on me. And that has shaped my thinking as an adult. So that's that's you know, reading is so important. It just changes who you are because you get to borrow the mind of someone who's been there before you, and it in it basically helps you skip a level getting ahead, learning more from someone who's already been there before you. So yeah.

Life Happens Despite Our Plans

James 36:36

Yeah. So you sort of alluded to this uh a few minutes ago, but as you think about the future, where do you see yourself? I don't know, five years, ten years, what what do you where do you see yourself?

Todd 36:51

Yeah, so where I see myself, I don't know. And that's the cool thing. When I was this is funny because when I was coming out of high school, I had my life mapped out. I was thinking, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go infantry because Bill Cameron was infantry. He's cool. I want to go infantry, and then I want to use do a commissioning program with the Marines. I want to go be a pilot, and then I want to be a pilot, and that's where that's that's what I'm gonna do from my my military career, and then I'm gonna retire. And that was kind of what I was thinking for my life plan, but things change, and I can see where God providentially steered things. And I mean, one thing in particular, when I joined the Marines, Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait when I was in Bukamp, and all of my peers were getting orders to units that were deploying to Saudi Arabia. I didn't. I was part of a handful of people that we got orders to DC. I ended up in a church up there. That's where I started learning about what it means to be a Christian, and I met my wife there. So these were inflection points where I can see how God was steering things and uh ended up getting married. We've got two kids. I've been in the tech industry now. And so looking at the past and how things change over time, because you get new information, God steers in a different direction. I don't really have anything in mind as far as where I'm going to be in the next five, 10 years. Uh, at some point, there will be retirement or a stepping away from uh maybe corporate America. Uh, maybe this podcast will become a business and that will be, you know, full-time income. Who knows? Uh, I don't have anything, I don't have my heart set on anything, and I I don't know where this is going to end up. And so I'm I've just kind of embraced that God is steering things. And I do have free will, and I'm choosing to do this podcast, I'm choosing to work in the tech industry. And so, but I can I'm accepting of new things that are gonna be coming up. So that's kind of my mindset. I don't have anything in mind that if it doesn't happen, I'm gonna be disappointed because I know things are going to be well. So uh yeah, that's the short answer. I don't know where we're gonna be in the next few years, but uh looking forward to it. See, there you go.

James 39:16

That's that's that's fair. Uh I'll describe my outlook very similar. Unsure, but it's it's gonna be what it's gonna be, but I I don't have a a point in mind.

Todd 39:30

Um what I do know is whether it's here in this podcast is that we'll just keep having these conversations. And whether it's uh men's groups together, you know, just meeting and encouraging one another and just learning from each other. One thing I've really embraced as an adult is the community of men and others, the family, and uh leaning on one another. So that whole individualistic, you know, rugged, you know, man doing your own thing and conquering the world, that's just not true. That doesn't happen in real life.

The Purpose of This Podcast

James 40:04

So yeah. Yeah, I love it in these that these lately these these interviews have been uh very thought-provoking about a lot of different things. And are there topics that you won't want to explore further?

Todd 40:19

Yeah, the purpose of the podcast is we want to talk to people in midlife. So our audience, we're thinking about the audience, and we want to discuss topics that are of interest to people in midlife. So maybe you're mid-career and you're thinking, okay, is this it? Is there something else out there? And you maybe you're considering your retirement, you're planning there. So we want to talk to guests and or just amongst ourselves about, you know, money, retirement, planning for the future, getting things in place so that you do have flexibility to step away from a corporate job if you want to, flexibility to start a business, also interacting with family. So, how do you, you know, raising kids? So we got to talk to a guy named Dr. Stoltzfuss about that, setting your kids up for success, you know, because there's a lot of pressure on parents. You know, you're responsible for lives and you are an influence, whether you like it or not, good or bad. So we want to talk about those relationship things. We want to talk about work, we want to talk about retirement. And so, as far as the podcast goes, uh, we do get a lot of inquiries from people that want to be on the show. That's awesome. That's flattering. I appreciate that. But we we have to say no a lot because it has to be of interest to our audience. And so that's what we're looking for. So, you know, we're constantly looking at topics. Uh, maybe there we don't really do so much on the area of like current events or politics or any of that stuff. There's plenty of stuff out there, and there's a lot of anger out there, and we don't want to, we don't want to drive that anger. We just want to talk to people. And I heard someone call it angertainment. So you can find a lot of voices out there that'll make you mad and get you fired up and make you hate other people or whatever they believe. And that's not where we're living. We don't want that. Uh so we're looking for topics that uh are of interest to people. We're not trying to please everybody, but uh that's that's where we're living. Those are the topics that we're gonna be talking about money, retirement, relationships, and just getting things together and you know, loving one another. So that's it, yeah.

James 42:31

I know I'm looking forward to the next year and seeing uh what what may come and be good and learning more together.

The Mindset: Influence & Agency

Todd 42:39

Yeah. I guess I should just share a little bit more about the philosophy that's driving me personally, and just thinking about my childhood, thinking about my parents' childhood. The thought occurs to me that my granddad's I never met them. I don't know who these men are, I know about them, and I can see their negative influence on my parents, and it was bad. And so that strikes me. And then when I think about Bill Cammon, there is a man that I've never met. He was a Christian. He served in the same platoon with Bill Cameron, and during the battle of Iwo Jima, this guy was he was a Christian. They made fun of him because he read his Bible, he didn't go out drinking and partying with the guys, but he did have a very positive influence on that platoon. And during the battle of Iwo Jima, they ended up out on a combat patrol. They got into a firefight, and one of the Japanese, they were so close, the Japanese threw a grenade into their position, and this Christian threw himself on that grenade and it killed him. But he saved Bill Cameron's life. And he had heard enough of the gospel from this young Christian that it was an influence on him. He was a hard drinker, a fighter, he was a hardcore Marine. And he was into everything, but that dude saved his life. And that influence of that Christian, he ends up becoming a Christian as a result of that. And he he told that story in tears. And so that positive influence was a positive influence on me. And this is someone I never met, right? So my grandparents, they had a negative influence on my parents. And that impacted our family negatively. Although I'm very thankful for my parents because of what they did for me. They sacrificed for me and they got us away from that influence. So Bill Cameron, there's a guy that I've never met, positive influence on him, that had a huge positive impact on tens of thousands of people, right? And so what I'm taking away from all of that is no matter what situation you're born into, you have agency in this life. And I can't look back on my family situation and blame my granddad's for generational trauma, although it does exist. And so I just keep coming back to I have agency. And this is what I learned in the Marines. You have to take ownership and you have to take responsibility for yourself, regardless of the circumstance. And you have agency. And what agency means is just simply you have the capacity to make choices and act independently, and you can influence your own life and circumstances through that. And I've said it before, this quote from Robert Lewis Stevenson, where he just, he's like, Look, life's not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. What I've learned is that hey, if you're born into poverty, you're behind the eight-ball. Maybe you live in a poor part of town, but you still have access and you still have a choice to take advantage of the free education that's available. Were you born into an abusive home? That's terrible. And I my parents took action and they said, you know what, it stops, it stops with me. So they took agency and they kept us from that. If you've got developmental deficiencies, you know, there's help available, right? Uh I think about Bill Cameron. He looked past my anger and resentment as a teen, and he he ministered to me. And that was such a huge influence. And then, you know, there's an alternative to agency, and that is a victim mindset where we blame others or we blame our situation. And you have resentment towards people that might be better off than you or had a better start in life. And those things freeze you in place, and you're just unable to see past your negative emotions. And now I've had a lot of negative emotions, bitterness, and resentment in my life. So I'm not perfect in this. But I have learned that I have agency. And so you choose to be passive and just accept where you are, or you take action. And just thinking about, I mean, there's because of that generational trauma, there's a lot of addiction in my family. My uncles, they were most of them were addicts. And when you look back, you you see that, yeah, addiction is a disease. And once you're in the throes of addiction, you can't get out by yourself. But they ended up, there was a point in life where they chose that path, the alcohol, the drugs, and then they found themselves trapped in it. So, you know, generational trauma is a thing, but you don't have to be stuck there, and you can make a choice. And so just thinking about that influence. We've got a powerful influence with others, whether we think so or not. It's either going to be positive or negative, and you have to choose what that's going to be. So that's kind of my mindset. And so the thing behind this podcast is tapping into that and bringing in experts, reading books, bringing in knowledge that first off helps us, me and James, as we're talking through these things, but then also just good topics that help people just take action in their own lives and take ownership for their themselves. So that's my mindset.

Closing Thoughts

James 48:10

I'm here for it. I love it. It's gonna be good. It's interesting how how many of these conversations are are directly relevant to the topics that Todd and I will have just meeting over lunch. Yeah. And uh the things that come up and trying to help one another, put your arm around another's shoulder and just sort of go through life together. And um yeah. Yeah, we all kind of need that.

Todd 48:36

Yeah, we need it. And coming out of the military, talking to veterans, you hear veterans say all the time, I do it again in a heartbeat. They want to go back and they want to experience that close bond with other people, even though a lot of them may say that they want to be alone and they don't like people and all this stuff. In reality, it's not true. We crave that connection with other people. And that's what the podcast is providing for James and I. And uh, we want to extend that out to others to be an encouragement there. So yeah, just thankful. We live in a good time, we live in America, we've got access to technology that lets us talk to people all over the world, and it's just a wonderful thing. So really appreciate the folks that are listening to this, and we appreciate those that have given us reviews. We're thankful. So we're glad to be here. And I'm thankful for you, James. So appreciate you, brother.

James 49:33

And and likewise, sir. I am very thankful to be here. If you're listening today, we would appreciate a review, a review, uh, a positive one, ideally. And we would uh uh please please share the podcast with other folks who would like to grow the community.

Todd 49:49

Yeah. If you do have negative feedback, that's great too. You there are contacts in the description where you can send us an email, you can send us a text or whatever. So we appreciate all feedback and uh appreciate our listeners.

James 50:01

So thank you so much. If you have some ideas, you know, if our listeners have some ideas for folks that maybe that they'd like to hear from or topics to cover, please share.

Todd 50:11

Thanks so much. Until next time, we'll see you on the pad.